The Longest Videogame Fight Tournament Ever
by FanfictionObscenist
Summary: What the title says. First START week match-up: Alice vs Hominid!


_**START **_**Week #1**

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**Match One  
Alien Hominid Vs. American McGee's Alice**

"We welcome you to our October 7th, the first match of the _START_ preliminaries. Our first match, that cute, blood-thirsty, little knife-wielding anthropomorphic alien bunny rabbit Gamecube fans worldwide have come to know and love worldwide, Alien Hominid. And that depressed anti-damsel, bandages marked over her wondrously dark history, American McGee's twisted Alice! These two combatants are here on our first week to run for the opportunity to PRESS start, the very thing need for any video game to begin. What arrre our rules Eee-Gad!?"

"Well..." the voice identifiers activated to cleanse the elderly professor's voice of it's mannerisms, "our first START weeks will take place in an ordinary rice ring, flat material perfect for a wrestling match. Contenders are allowed to bring in any weapons or items that may aid them in their battle, KILLING is allowed. However, an opponent MAY not carry an object or thing that replenishes their stamina, health, or revives them. Extra lives result in automatic disqualification."

"So so true." continued Will Andonuts, "You see folks, we DON'T tolerate cheat codes. You know, we've all done it in beta testing; Glitch exploitation, account hacking, screen fraud. They're ALL liable for immediate disqualification."

"But enough of me talking...let's MOSEY."

Cloud Strife stepped into the announcer's stand, shooting Doctor Andonuts a nasty stare.

Deep inside of the temple-esque stadium, what few VIP crowds and newscasters given access were seated appropriately in small crowds. Lights centered upon the 4 by 4 ring, the two opponents waited by the sidelines.

By Alice, a dark brunette in a soggy, periwinkle dress stained with mud, was a decapitated animal perched atop her head. And IT'S head was at her feet, scurrying around and purring as she gradually lowered the dull razor in her hands every few seconds to scratch against it's nape. By Hominid, there was a jolly fat kid with a plain grey t-shirt, jeans, and a red cap. He was rubbing the Alien's shoulders, something that actually seemed to calm it. A butcher knife was swaying at it's side, it's left hand carrying a green blaster with a pointy end.

Violent glares exchanged, the bell rang and the Cheshire Cat's skeletal body vanished into thin air. His head bounced off of Alice's hair, rolling in a sarcastic way until his smile bounced in the Hominid's direction. Confused, the alien aimed it's blaster at it, only for the cat's head to vanish as well.

"FIA-GHT." screamed an announcer.

The Hominid pounced, tripping and smashing his face into the ring. His blaster bounced away, and Alice lunged for it with her free hand, the other armed with her razor, dry with carmine blood. It's fall failing to stop it, the Hominid tucked over and flipped on his back, butcher knife in his hand, which he swept in an uppercutting motion. The blade contacted Alice's arm with harsh screech, hacking a severe length of two of her fingers and deep into her hand. It slashed again, ripping a scar open on the back of her neck but still failing to stop her.

His leap ended, and Alice, devoid of any sensation of pain, chucked her razor at the Hominid, reequipping her remaining right hand with the large blaster weapon. She aimed, right as the Hominid squirmed in mid-air to hurl it's weapon into her stomach. It did so, but as quickly the knife entered her line of vision, it thinned and descended into the first ball of green that it collided with. Her bloodied hand squeezed the trigger, with each exhale she felt the fire of the alien energy spew out from the gun uncontrollably, her human hands unfamiliar to it's operations.

The Hominid screamed, it's tenacious, white-dotted black ovals for eyes marveled over the green of it's own weapon consume it's face, and soon it's entire skull, melting away the wax of it's skeleton, until finally as Alice realized, there was nothing but an extremely charred and shortened knife smoldering next to a pile of roasted yellow mush.

"I...win..." she huffed in a panting chorus, she struggled to stand as paramedics entered the scene. She clasped her left breast, the air popped inside of her, like a balloon full of gas, and she fainted, blood now soaked into her garments and across her face. Her body was laid into a stretcher post-haste, her arm rapped up in a suturing kit and a number of bandages.

"My...it seems Alice has fallen unconscious. But she has eliminated her opponent and will move on to the NEXT round. Pray she returns, that was possibly one of the bloodiest FIRST matches we'll ever see here, folks!"

"I must admit...her hand was nearly chopped off and she didn't even seem to care. What's the blood count, Andonuts?"

"OH SHI-" was all he could reply, scrolling left and right over the number.

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End file.
